An open letter to Facebook

 

Dear Facebook,

 

I think we need to ‘talk’!

 

With all those sexy algorithms you’re running, I know you’re trying to seduce me and make me fall in love with you again but you, it’s just not working (OK, maybe it did a tiny bit) BUT there is a super huge blocker in our relationship right now that I think we need to talk about.

 

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And I have to say, it’s a pretty big hurdle for a relationship like ours (the beautiful small business and the social media beast). You see you’re trying way too hard to bring me the things I like (and I don’t mean in the flowers and chocolate kind of way). I know you really think I want these things because you think you know what I like and, I know you collect all those gorgeous bits of data and cookie crumbs about who I am but you know what?

 

It isn’t working.

 

It’s a shock I know but it’s the truth, you see there is a fatal flaw in your beautiful master plan to woo me and my kind (those gorgeous and utterly divine small business women) back and that simple flaw is that you just don’t know what I hate and for us women, that’s a serious problem.

 

Ok, maybe hate is a pretty strong word, perhaps I should rephrase that ‘ You just don’t know about all those little things that drive me crazy (and not in a good way!).

 

You see as a small business owner, I probably spend more time working on my relationship with you than I do with some of the people on my friend list BUT unlike those people, you have literally no idea what it is that drives me crazy.

 

Our relationship at the moment feels like a badly planned dating website made up of compatibility and interest scoring that just isn’t working. A bit like a relationship, we all have those little things that drive us up the wall, they don’t make us angry but they do frustrate us a little and the thing is, well you’re just not really letting me express myself.

 

I don’t want to sound like a bad cliche here but it’s definitely you, not me that is the reason our relationship is falling apart.

 

You see, I want you to invent a ‘Liar’ button or at the very least an emoticon I can use that shows frustration. I really hate to use the anger one because like most of those other business women you are trying to woo back, I save that for content that is about mistreating others or criminal acts you know, the serious stuff.

 

But there is NOTHING I can use to show frustration, it doesn’t make me sad or angry when I see adverts that are just an all out lie being broadcast on your platform but it does make me super frustrated and you just don’t seem to understand.

I know, you say I shouldn’t be getting them but I do, because you think I’m interested in stuff like Amazon, you promote ad’s to me that are downright lies or make false claims about what is possible on the platform as a business and the thing is, you’re just not listening.

I don’t expect you to know when someone is lying or being economical with the truth, but I want you to listen to me and your other users when I try to tell you that the advertising I see and the claims they are making are wrong. That’s what a good relationship is all about right?!

Every time I log into Facebook I get a glut of dodgy adverts about how I can become a (multi!) millionaire by selling on Amazon, but the truth is you just can’t do it half the ways people are advertising and the majority of the rest is highly unethical (Amazon would get mad if they catch half of these naughty tricks people are advertising!).

As a good loyal user I try to tell you, I say ‘hide this’ and you automatically ask me why but you don’t give me the freedom to tell you. (Not really anyway!)

You ask me if it’s because it’s not relevant, or if it is because I keep seeing it or worse if I find it offensive or inappropriate but here’s the thing. Those adverts could be relevant, I don’t keep seeing the exact same thing and I don’t find it offensive, I do however find it insulting and misleading. I’m not going to lie Facebook, I want to have that fan girl crush of the 00’s on you again, but you need to stop letting false advertising on your platform woo me away.

It might not look like much written down but being misled by advertising on your website is huge so I’m suggesting a change here Facebook, either give us all an emoticon that I can use to show frustration (not anger) or an option to tell you when an advert is misleading.

You aren’t a specialist in everything, but each of us, you’re adoring and loving users are a specialist in something so let us tell you when someone is lying, misleading or being highly economical with the truth and actually start listening to us. The way we use our words can break down huge barriers.

 

Much love and lots of frustration,
Lyndsey

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